I Can Just be a Girl

Ch 1: The Epiphany Under the Cell Tower

A puff of smoke blew into my face; I gagged and lost balance, nearly falling out the bed of Sophia’s white pickup truck. Sophia’s boyfriend, Max Cooke, puffed his cigarette out the driver’s side window. I wanted to tell him off, but he would have crushed me; he was a 6 foot tall jock with a major attitude. Sometimes I got scared for Sophia; I was her neighbor and oftentimes she would have to sneak out and visit me just to escape his drunk episodes. I think that is why she invited me in the first place. I don’t know why she stayed with him. I think it was because his parents gave her a lot of money for uni, and probably to keep her quiet.

    On either side of me sat Alyssa, Quinn, and Danielle; Quinn was sitting on the cooler bullshitting with the other two about perfume. Quinn liked wearing both perfumes and colognes, which would have got him many odd looks if it didn’t fit him so well. He somehow slipped under the radar most of the time. Only we knew… well, Max didn’t, but he isn’t very bright.. He brushed his shoulder-length black hair to the side and passed a Coke down to Danielle. Danielle quickly snatched the drink and continued to talk. She had bright raspberry-colored hair whose curls twisted and twirled with the wind. Alyssa was holding a joint in her hand; she took a quick puff and handed it to Danielle. Alyssa had long straight brown hair. I was so envious of the length it got. Mine was still growing since my parents forced me to cut it, so it was just above my shoulders in a bob. To be honest, I felt out of place: I really didn’t have many friends outside of Sophia. It felt easier somehow hanging out with her. I felt I didn’t have to fake it as much. Still, it was so much harder with a group. I would constantly hear people mention me and talk about me. I hated hearing my name. It made me feel bare and hideous, like some freak experiment.

    Max turned up and parked in a clearing. A bonfire was already lit with a banner strung between 2 trees over the road. It was painted with shoddy spray paint that read, ”Thunder Bay Class of 2023… Bitchez'' 

    “Derek! Were here, now get your ass out of my car”

I winced. Max knew hearing my name fucked with me. So, he would constantly use it. He really needed to make everyone else feel like shit because of his tiny dick syndrome. 

    “Shut the fuck up Max.” Quinn said. He was the only one who could tell off Max without consequence.

    We jumped down out of the bed. We were just above the dirty beach of the lake. There were already a lot of people at the party. Every senior in Thunder Bay (who wouldn’t snitch) was invited. I guess a lot of those seniors also invited some plus ones. Almost everyone came to either get hammered on booze and weed, or get laid… oftentimes both. I still felt out of place. Everyone quickly got into their niche; Max quickly settled in with the lacrosse teams. Alyssa and Danielle found the goth/alt scene quickly. Quinn disappeared to god knows where. So, it was just me and Sophia.

I sat down a few feet from the fire. the warmth of the flames battered against my skin; it was just barely too hot. The smell of smoke assaulted my nose. I watched the fire dance on the logs, fading from one color to the next. I couldn’t look away. Honestly, I had the urge to stick my hand in the flame. It was an intrusive thought, but I felt so unhappy. Every day I had to hear my stupid name; every day I had to see a bunch of my classmates naked in the boys' locker room. undoubtedly slapping each other with towels and trying to stare at me change; every day was the same thing. I felt helpless.

I heard a whistle followed by a, "Hey sweetheart, wanna lick my popsicle?"

I turned. Next to me was a 6'2" man with brown, shaggy hair and dark brown, nearly black eyes. He had a smattering of stubble across his chin.

I stepped back and instinctively made a face in disgust. Sophia stepped forward. "They're with me, don't you dare cat call them."

From the other side of the bonfire stepped out Max, "What's wrong? can't a man have a little fun?"

Then he realized it was me. "Dude… what the fuck! that is a guy…"

My heart stung. I don't know why but something hurt. The man backed up, and left, ashamed. Sophia asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… that was weird. I haven't had that happen before." That was a lie. I had stitches like that happen all through high school. I would be minding my own business when some creep (most often Max) would grab me and tell me how fuckable I was. It made me uncomfortable. I was lucky that they didn't go further. 

    We both sat in silence for a long time. I stared at the ground, moving the dirt back and forth with my feet. Sophia quietly watched the fire. I couldn’t help but stare; The way the firelight bounced off her pink wolf cut, how her freckles vibrantly danced with the flame, how her eyes lit up like emeralds sparkling with brilliant oranges and sweet ambers –It was all so beautiful.

    “Hey, do you want to do anything?”

    Well, I want to kiss you first of all– “Ummm… ummm…I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

    “Well, I want to get high, or drunk… or possibly both.” She giggled, “You wanna join?”

I tried to formulate an answer; I hadn’t planned on getting drunk or stoned tonight. This was mostly an excuse for me to keep an eye on Sophia. I do wonder what it would feel like though: maybe that low-level unhappy feeling of my life would be gone for the evening.

    “Uh sure! Could be fun. I –uh– haven’t tried any before.”

    “Then follow me”

    I quickly followed Sophia, she passed by the area where Danielle and Alyssa were. They dropped their conversation about art and followed Sophia, holding each other's hands the whole time. It was cute, I wish I could hold my best friend’s hand. We continued, somehow Sophia instinctively knew where Quinn was; he was very obviously flirting with 2 of the guys he snuck away from the jocks. Sophia quickly made him cut it out and he quickly followed us. Sophia took us to the map of the campground near the entrance.

    “Where do we go to smoke?”

    “There is a trail to an old cell tower near the lakeshore. we could go there. It overlooks the camp, but it is very secluded.” said Quinn.

    Alyssa and Danielle quickly agreed.

    “Finally, do you want to go to the cell tower?” Sophia pointed at me.

    “Uhhh… yes I would.” I squeaked.

I followed everyone down to the lakeshore. Sure enough, there was a small unmarked trail to the left. We walked through the dense summer brush. Sophia reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone. The trail was dimly illuminated. We all dodged every stray branch and thorn. Eventually, the foliage started to open up and we found ourselves at a small clearing; in the center stood a large cell tower. The red lights flickered against the inky sky. We walked toward the cell tower.

Sophia lit the joint, “Open your mouth.”

I opened my mouth. Sophia placed the joint between my lips.

“Take a small breath.”

I obliged. I took a small puff of the joint; I waited, at first it felt like nothing was happening. I took 3 more puffs over a few minutes. 

"When does it kick in?"

Everyone replied in unison, "about now."

As soon as they said that, I could feel it working. Everything felt softer… easier. I started to giggle. And I kept giggling, and giggling. I couldn't help myself. This felt so good, I didn't want this to stop. I laid down on the grass and rolled around

"I didn't expect that reaction, kinda cute though." Sophia replied. "You laugh like when I realized I was a girl."

I was stunned. "Wat?"

"You didn't know? I thought it was obvious. Tee bee aitch I also thought you were a closeted trans girl too."

"I'm not pretty enough to be a girl. I wish I could have been born one."

Sophia facepalmed. "1. you look just like a cis girl already and 2. you know you can just be a girl, right?"

Wait, wait, wait… I can just be a girl. I can just be a girl… I CAN JUST BE A GIRL!!! "I'm a girl!!! I'm a girl!!! I'm a girl!!!" I repeated the phrase while giddily rolling in the grass and stamping my feet in excitement. 

Sophia snorted. “Yup. Congratulations, you're a girl.”

Alyssa chimed in. "So, what should your name be? No rush, I bet we can find a–

“Charlotte,” I interrupted. 

Danielle replied, "It suits you, hi Charlotte."

"My name is Charlotte!!!" I grinned wider than I ever have before.

"Yes it is. Now, Charlotte, could you pass me the joint sweetie?" Quinn replied. 

I handed him the joint, which I had accidentally put out while rolling around. Quinn quickly lit it back up and took a huge puff before passing it to Danielle. Danielle took a long drag and held her breath. She grabbed Alyssa's waist and drew her in. She firmly pressed her lips against her and kissed her, blowing smoke into her mouth in the process. Alyssa let out a faint moan. That is kind of when I realized, oh shit, they’re dating. How am I this dense?

We kept passing the joint around; first Sophia, then me, then Quinn, and finally Danielle and Alyssa. We spend the better part of an hour just vibing together. I finally found where I belong. I was a trans lesbian and I belonged with this group, these people. My friends. Everything was going amazing. Tonight was the best night I had ever had. Nothing could ruin this night. Not even Max. Especially not Max.

Then, from the brush on the trail stumbled a very drunk, and very high Max.It was a miracle he made it to the cell tower without falling flat on his porcine face.

    “Hey Derek, *Hiccup* Sophia *Hiccup*, wanna fuck?”

Sophia replied, “First of all… She’s Charlotte now. Second, I told you I don’t want sex.”

“I don’t care *hiccup* what he’s called, and you look too cute not to *hiccup* play with.” Max slowly approached us. He reached for Sophia’s breasts and attempted to grab them.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” 

Quinn stepped in, “Cut that shit out… back the fuck up.”

Max didn’t, he reached for my thigh and grasped it.

Sophia balled up her hand into a fist and forced it into his nose. I heard a loud crack and blood started flowing out of Max’s nostrils.

“FUCK YOU BITCH!!!”

Both Danielle and Alyssa got up, they both stepped up to face them. Quinn got even closer and hit him square in the jaw. Spit shot from his mouth. Quinn’s hand was covered in blood and saliva. “Fuck you fuckface.”

Max tried to fight back, but clearly he was more fucked up than us; both punches flew sluggishly through the air, being effortlessly dodged. Alyssa wound up a kick and hit Max square in the balls. He fell to his knees before Danielle Spartan kicked him to the ground. From there he assumed a fetal position; tears falling from his eyes mixed with his drool and blood, covering the concrete of the cell tower. Max whimpered, “I’m going to kill you! I don’t understand why Sophia hangs out with you queers. When I tell my dad what happened you are all going to prison.”

Sophia replied, “I am a queer, bitch, and consider you and I fucking over.”

“Not if I can help it.” Alyssa replied. She pointed to the phone leaning in the grass. “I knew you might pull that shit, so I started recording when you approached. You’re fucked.”

Max sat wallowing in his own misery for ten minutes. When he finally had enough dignity to get up, he didn’t go for the phone, instead he solemnly hobbled back down the trail.

“Hey Charlotte?” Sophia said, “Can I hold your hand?”

I nodded. 

“Thank you for being so nice to me all these years. You saved me from hurting myself… or worse many times. NGL, I think I have a crush on you… sorry if that is too forward. You’re just so pretty, and so sweet… I couldn’t help falling for you.”

My brain shut off. I never thought Sophia would love me in that way. I can’t lie, I had a crush on her for a while too. “I do too.” I blurted out.

Sophia blushed hard, “Can I kiss you?”

I blushed even more, “Yes, you can.” a tear fell down my face. I never expected to get kissed, period, let alone by Sophia.

Sophia pressed her lips against mine; it was heavenly, they were so soft and warm. I could feel her breath against my face. My heart raced, it felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. I loved this feeling, I never wanted it to stop. My first kiss was with my best friend, and it was heaven. It was a moment that will be etched into my soul for the rest of time…

To Be Continued?

Ch 2: Raccoons in Thunder Bay

“Come with me”

Sophia grabbed my hand and we walked to the edge of the clearing. It had been a few hours since Max left and our high was wearing off.

“You know I've liked you since I met you, right?”

“Oh… ummm… I didn’t know, sorry.”

“It's okay Charlotte, you were dense.”

“I also thought you were a trans girl who was too scared to come out until I just saw you realize you were one… I developed a crush, hard. My Gaydar is on point.”

I blushed bright red. “Yeah, I guess you're right.”

Sophia and I climbed into the trees and came upon a small stone cliff that dropped down 10 or so feet. Sophia sat and I followed suit. “You wanna know why I took you here?”

“Why?”

“Honestly, I never would have done this for Max, but Tee Bee Aitch, I really want to let you see my tits.”

I blushed harder. Sophia clearly noticed, “What, you’re a cute girl that I am totally into, if anyone deserves to see my titties, it's you.”

Sophia blushed too and turned around, she slowly took off her shirt and tossed it onto my lap. She turned around; she was beautiful and aesthetically amazing. She looked so soft and comforting, I just wanted to have her hold me and kiss me all night.

Sophia turned to me, “If you're okay with it, can I take off your shirt?”

I was always uncomfortable with being shirtless in public. Now that I was a girl, it started to make sense why. “Go ahead, I’m not as pretty as you.”

“You look beautiful to me already, and you will only look prettier when you start to transition.”

Sophia helped take my shirt off. She stared at me for a long time.

“I’m so sorry, I am hideous.”

“No you are NOT, you are adorable, you are already pretty smooth.”

“I shave everyday.”

“Ha. Egg.”

“Uh… What's that?’

“Oh fuck. You really are totally clueless. An egg is a trans person before they knew they were trans.”

“Why egg.”

“Because you are one crack away from becoming a chick.”

“Oh.” I blushed.

Sophia bumped my shoulder, “You are adorable.”

Sophia and I sat there for a long time just talking, eventually she asked me to rest my head in her lap. I did. It felt so nice, just being held by my best friend with nothing holding us back. She started rolling her fingers through my hair, strangely, this didn’t feel “hot”, it felt safe, natural, right.I gazed off into the woods, all that we could hear was the sound of the spruce rustling. I started to notice something else; a pink glow was emanating from behind the trees. It grew stronger, pulsating subtly.

I touched Sophia’s shoulder, “Look.”

“Aww shit, get up.”

We both got up and rapidly put our shirts on.

Sophia and I sat up and walked off twenty feet to the left where there was a way to get down the cliff. Each step I got more and more nervous. I grasped Sophia’s hand. The glow got stronger, everything around us was bathed in pink light. We turned around the tree, expecting someone to be there, but there wasn’t; instead there was a bright glowing statue. It was humanoid, but it had a big tail and ears. Sophia approached. It was black stone, with geometric veins of pink. Sophia reached out her hand to touch it. I started reaching for it too. We both clung to each other as we made contact. I felt pain shoot through me, like I was being lit on fire and rearranged from the inside, I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. I looked at Sophia, her veins were glowing pink, her features were starting to shift.She looked in so much pain, Her jaw was clenched and tears were flowing down her face. I looked at my hand, Bright orange was glowing, through my arm. The statue glistened with both colors, The figure started to melt, all the features falling down. The pain was getting unbearable, my eyes were full of tears, I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t hear anything. I could only feel Sophia’s hand interlocked with mine. Then, everything went black.

I woke up to Quinn shaking me. I groaned. Wait… I sounded like a girl. It was low and melodic. I lifted myself up. And looked down, I had boobs… not even small ones at that. I felt the ground, but not from my legs, I flexed and saw a tail curl around me. “What the fuck! How long was I out?"

Quinn replied, "about thirty minutes, give or take. It's one in the morning."

I heard a groan beside me, I turned to see Sophia, but now she had pink rounded ears sticking out of her head and a fluffy pink striped raccoon tail sticking out of her back. She looked at her body; her tits had gotten larger. She then noticed her tail. “What the fuck.”

She turned to look at me. We both stared for a long time, dumbfounded.

Quinn, Danielle, and Alyssa both stared at us, eventually Danielle asked, “What the fuck happened to you two?”

I chirped, “I don’t know, We saw a pink light, we touched a statue, Everything hurt, and now we are Racoon girls. This must be a fucking dream.”

Quinn slapped himself, “Nope, not a dream.”

Alyssa asked, “What do we do about them? How do we even get home? We came here in Max’s truck and I never wanna see that shitstain again.”

“Agreed, I think there are some spare blankets in one of the cabins, Either you or Danielle need to take some to hide them. I think I can call my parents to pick us up. What the fuck is going on!” Quinn was exasperated. Alyssa and Danielle elected to steal the blankets, Quinn sat beside us and put himself on speaker.

His mom responded, “Hey Quinn! Is everything okay?”

He responded, “Not really, tonight has been all over the place”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

“Okay, so Danielle, Alyssa, Sophia, Max, and Charlotte.”

“Who’s Charlotte?”

Quinn covered the mic and whispered, “Can I tell her?”

I nodded.

“Well, You know Sophia’s friend, long orange hair?”

“Oh Derek!”

I winced.

“She is Charlotte now.”

“Oh okay!! Is she there?”

“Yes”

“Hi Charlotte! Congratulations!”

I smiled, “Uh hi!”

“Wow, your voice is beautiful!”

“May I continue?”

“Of course son, please do.”

“Well, Max got drunk and high and tried to do some really bad stuff to Charlotte and Sophia.”

“Oh shit, I am so sorry.”

“Me too, We all kicked his ass and he walked off.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, it is, he was our ride though, so we are kind of stuck here. Do you think you can pick us up?”

“Of course, I’ll start the car now. I’ll get some KD ready when we get back.”

“Thanks mom.”

“Of course sweetie, don’t worry about it.”

“I love you!”

“Love you too mom.”

Quinn hung up.

We waited three or so minutes and Alyssa came tumbling out the bushes with two large blankets. They ran up to us and wrapped them around us. It felt weird when the blanket touched my tail and ears. They were so sensitive. We walked cautiously through the woods back into the party. It was still going, although it was less active than before. The bonfire was slowly dimming, We made our way to the parking lot. Max’s truck was gone. However, there was a small bit of blood and drool on the dirt where he parked. Good riddance. We sat for twenty or so minutes at the entrance of the campground. Sophia and I snuggled up close; she felt so warm. Danielle and Alyssa told us we looked cute together and they started snuggling too. Quinn just sat between us playing some mobile game.

A car pulled into the parking lot, it was Quinn’s mom’s black 2010 Ford Flex. Quinn ran up to the driver’s side window and hugged his mom. Danielle and Alyssa helped Sophia and I walk to the doors. Alyssa opened one for us and we carefully got in. Quinn rode shotgun and Alyssa and Danielle got in on the opposite side as us. Alyssa said, “Thank you for picking us up Ms. Belle.”

“Of course! I’m so sorry that happened,” She turned around to look at Sophia and I, “Are you two okay?”

Sophia replied, “yes, just a little shaken up. We’ll be fine.”

“Well, that’s understandable, neither of you should have had to deal with that.”

“Thank you.”

Quinn's mom sighed, “Don’t sweat it, I’ve been there before; it sucks.”

I could guess what Ms. Belle was trying to say, but I didn't want to pry.

Ms. Belle put the car in reverse and turned out of the parking lot. She turned onto the highway and drove back to Thunder Bay.

Thirty minutes later she turned into her driveway. I could barely see anything. I shuffled out of the car and followed Ms. Belle to her front door. She flicked the lights on. 

Quinn leaned in and whispered, “Should we tell mom about the uh… raccoon situation?”

Sophia and I looked at each other and tilted our heads before nodding, “Sure.” I said, “How do we tell her? Hi! Mom, my friends got turned into raccoon people doesn’t sound believable.”

“I think you are just going to have to show her.”

“After KD, I am hungry.” I said.

Danielle added, “Fuck… same”

Quinn’s mom walked into the kitchen and started making the KD. We all walked into Quinn’s room. The white walls were covered in retro space posters and star maps. He had a Breadboard, his laptop, and a book about stargazing on his desk. His bed was well-kept. On the shelves above him, he had some trophies. Above the bed he had a trans flag. Looking out his bedroom window was a telescope. On a side table was a bottle of lube and a dildo. Quinn quickly stood in front of them and shoved them in a drawer while blushing. I blushed. Danielle replied, “Quinn, you don’t need to hide your sex toys from us, I know that you know that we all have them.”

“Ummm… I don’t” I retorted.

“Well, maybe you should fix that then.”

Quinn walked back and closed the door.

“I am still not over the fact that Sophia and Charlotte are Raccoon girls!” Danielle said.

“Jealous.” Replied Alyssa.

“How do we hide them?”

“Well, the ears are easy, wear a hat, the tail is a little harder.”

“Lemmie grab something.” Quinn walked into his closet and pulled out 2 large hoodies “Here try these. I used to wear them before I was on T.”

A small bundle of fabric fell off of a chair in the closet. I picked it up. “Hey what’s this?”

“It’s my ace pride flag. I still haven’t figured out where to put it since the move.”

Quinn tossed the hoodies to Sophia and I. I pulled over the hoodie. It was big. Sophia helped me tuck my tail in.

Alyssa said, “Not even noticeable.”

“This feels very weird.”

Sophia added, “It does, it's a whole new area that just –didn't exist before.”

I helped Sophia put on her hoodie and we sat on the floor. Quinn turned on the T.V. and asked what we wanted to watch after dinner. We eventually decided to watch Bottoms. Quinn put the movie on pause and opened the door.

“The KD should be ready in three minutes.”

We walked back into the kitchen and sat down. Quinn’s mom was adding milk and water; she didn’t even notice us sit down.

“Mac and cheese is ready!!!”

“Umm… we’re right here.

"Oh I'm sorry!"

Ms. Belle each gave us a serving of KD. She was carrying her own plate to the couch.

"Garlic bread should be ready in a minute or two."

"Ok!"

We were all so hungry we all ate the Mac in a minute flat. It tasted so good. Danielle and Alyssa were talking turns spoon feeding the mac to each other. Quinn gave them a playful tap on the shoulder.

He giggled, “Get a room you two.”

I continued eating my mac and cheese normally next to Sophia while Quinn, Danielle, and Alyssa were all teasing each other.

Quinn turned to ask Ms. Belle, "ummm… mom, can we talk about something?"

She nodded, "of course son, anything."

Quinn turned to Sophia and I and nodded. We pulled down the hoods and moved the tail out of the hoodie.

Quinn’s mom gave an astonished look. The plate slipped in her hands and it shattered onto the floor, splattering mac and cheese everywhere. She blinked and returned to her normal expression.

“Where’d you get those? They’re very convincing.”

“They’re real.” I said, “go ahead, feel them.”

Ms. Belle absently stepped over the mess and touched my ear. It flicked in response. She parted my hair and felt the base of the ears, where my human ears would have been. I then showed her my tail. She could see each of the bumps on my vertebrae extending into the base of the tail. The tail swished around and curled around my thigh.

She stepped back, “How?”

Sophia and I reaccounted the events of the evening after the fight with Max. What the statue looked like, the pain it caused. Quinn added how They saw a flash of light and ran off to find us unconscious.

“I need to sit down.” 

Ms. Belle pulled up a chair and stared off into space. Finally she said, “What the fuck is going on?”

Danielle said, “We don’t know, all we know is we have a rich drunk lunatic who is probably looking for us, two girls that stick out like sore thumbs, nowhere to go, and no way to explain this.”

Alyssa added, “Sorry for putting this on you, but we need your help. You are the only parent that will understand and actually help us.”

“Of course, I just am unsure exactly how.”

Alyssa helped Quinn’s mom clean up. Quinn got a bundle of spare blankets and pillows from a drawer and made two pallets: One for Alyssa and Danielle, and one for Sophia and I. 

“Sorry that I can’t do more”

I said, “This is way more than what you had to do. Thank you so much for letting us stay here Quinn.”

“It’s no problem, you needed help.”

Quinn turned off the lights and jumped into bed. Alyssa and Danielle slid under their pallet and quietly went to bed.

Sophia and I pulled a blanket over us. Sophia grabbed my waist and held me close. My breath slowed and my heart was pounding. She felt so warm and so fucking safe. So much shit happened tonight and I felt like as long as I was holding her that I would be protected. We both snuggled up to each other and drifted off to sleep.

To Be Continued